Want An Amazing 2020? Scrap Your Half-Assed Goals and Do This Instead.
This is such an interesting time of year. We reflect, we celebrate, we enthusiastically create goals. Often those goals are things we keep saying we want to do, but don’t. Not really.
So. You. Do you really want what you say you do?
“I want to lose the weight.” But do you really? That takes sacrifice. Habit change. Social change.
“I am going to go the gym.” But are you excited about that? It sounds like it requires a lot of motivation. Hard work. Pain. Discomfort. It’s such a long journey ahead…
“I’m going to launch my business.” But where will you fit that in? There’s just never enough time...
Goals that aren’t connected to something bigger quickly become things to avoid. They’re on your list, but very easily pushed off to prioritize other things. You look at that list and keep feeling they’re things you “should” do, which then makes you feel down on yourself that you’re not doing them. Inevitably comes the end of the year, where you declare THIS is the year things will change!
Believe me when I say I want more than anything for THIS to be the year things change for you. AND I fully believe they will! If you start by scrapping those goals.
I mean this seriously.
They’re not helping you. And you don’t really want to do them anyway.
Don’t believe me?
I’ll be what you really want has little to do with the external goal you say you want to achieve.
Because it’s not the goal you want, it’s the way you’ll feel once you achieve it.
So, what is it you really want?
Really take some time to think about this. What is it you are searching for? Why is this important to you?
And then question your motivation.
If you want to lose weight, why? What’s the reason? To feel more healthy and vibrant? What will that mean to you? Or is it because you believe if you lose the weight others will treat you differently? Or more doors will open for you?
If your reason is connected to an external validation, an “if I change this, then…,” scenario, you are setting yourself up for a large disappointment.
Because you cannot control anything outside of you.
The full truth is, no external goal will give you the sense of fulfillment you are craving.
Real, lasting change has to start from the inside. If you want to feel more accepted and loved, start with learning to accept and love yourself. If you want to feel more accomplished, recognize how much you’ve already overcome and achieved. Recognize the power within you you have at all times, to create exactly the life you want.
Try this instead.
Let’s scrap your old method and try a new approach this year. REALLY DO THIS! Change doesn’t come from just reading articles on LinkedIn. Set aside 30 minutes for reflection.
Take some time to put yourself in December 2020. Really feel yourself in this space.
Looking out, from your future you, in December 2020, what do you see?
Where are you?
What does it look like?
How did things change?
How do you feel?
Really sit with this. Write it down. Make it tangible. This FEELING.
Now, looking at this person. You in the future. How does she (or he) approach her day?
What’s different?
An attitude? A habit?
Does she hesitate? Does she question her moves? Does she worry about what others think?
What’s changed?
Recognize what’s different, and what needed to happen to create that change.
And now here is where YOU start to change.
Identify just one of those things that’s different. Then start doing that one thing NOW.
Fulfillment doesn’t happen once you get the goal. It's like getting a promotion. You start performing the responsibilities of that new role now!
So recognize how your promoted-future-self acts, and then choose one thing to start doing.
Perhaps it’s to start each day with a new outlook, to practice a ritual or new habit, or to challenge yourself to do something from her perspective, vs. your default.
I’ll give you an example:
You keep meaning to make that phone call to someone who can help you network. You put it on your list, but it keeps getting pushed. Tapping into your future you, what would she do? Would she keep pushing it off? Or would she pick up the phone right now?
If any of this brings up anxiety, remember you’re just testing into what it would feel like to be this new person, just for a little while. See how it feels, trying her on for size.
Here’s another. Standard-you tends to hit that snooze and make an excuse to skip spin class. Tap into future you, who’s feeling energized and all glow-y, more calm and just generally GOOD. What would she do? How will it feel to be your all glow-y super self?
See how it changes your perspective and your actions. How has exercise become a bit more fun? Maybe she’s even told you to cancel that old gym membership and start running in a group outside! Way more motivating and interesting.
The iterations of this are endless. So just pick ONE thing that’s different about future you and test into it for a while. See how it feels.
I guarantee you’ll start feeling what your future self feels long before the end of the year. It all comes in little steps. If you falter, connect back to that future-you-feeling, and keep going.
Remember, your goal is not a destination. It’s a place to come from.
Want to do this together? Connect with me for some powerful and really fun 2020 visioning: christineoneillcoaching.com/contact
What would your future self want you to do?
Until then, wishing the realization of the power you have within, to create the life you are meant to live. Happiest of New Year's!
xo
Christine